12 People you should not marry
unhappy marriage is before marriage, not after.
There is no gainsaying that love can have such a
drunken effect on the about-to-wed that clear
danger signals become unimportant to them,
while hope becomes their only commodity. After
all, is it not said that love conquers all? Great!
But what type of love conquers all? Agape or
Eros? Why compare God-love, which is
unconditional, with sexual love, which can be
waver?
There are traits that some people cannot drop. It
is like hoping that a right-handed spouse will one
day become left-handed: a classical case of
waiting for Godot!
If you are looking for a wife or a husband, please
be wary of these 12 groups of people.
Those who can never apologise
They would hurt you, annoy you, disappoint you,
but would never apologise, because they believe
that it would belittle and demean them. When you
are wrong, you apologise to them, and when you
are right, you still apologise to them, hoping that
that they would change. But they never do. Soon
you start to feel irritated and agitated. The love
and respect you felt for them start to wear out.
Those who can never say thank you
Whatever you do for them, they are never grateful.
They make statements like: “Why should I say
thank you when you are just doing your duty?”
Some would say that their gratitude is in their
heart. So, do I have to open your heart to see the
gratitude inside and get it? Ingratitude is an
attitude that causes irritation, frustration and
unhappiness.
Such people also believe the world owes them a
lot. They go around their activities with an
entitlement mentality. They are difficult to please.
Those who have excessive libido or inadequate
libido
Sexual intercourse is a very important factor in
marriage, but when you have a spouse that needs
it for breakfast, lunch and supper, it becomes
difficult to have any peace in the family. Infidelity
also knocks on the door. On the other hand, when
you have a spouse that hates sex or thinks that
sex should be an annual event undertaken during
the wedding anniversary or birthday celebration,
then you know that you have some real trouble in
the house. Infidelity is also usually a challenge.
Sexual problem is worsened by the fact that it is
one topic that couples find difficult to discuss
with even those who genuinely want to help
resolve the marital rift.
Men who think women are to be seen but not
heard
Some men still live in the 18th century, in spite of
the depth of education they profess. It is true that
marriage is not a zone for feminist crusade, but if
a man has archaic views about women, then
please avoid him like an Ebola patient. Watch out
for statements like: “How can an ordinary woman
want to be the CEO?” “How can a woman debate
with men?”
Women who believe they don’t need a man in
their life
Such women believe that they are self-sufficient
in all things. They have the I-don’t-give-a-damn
attitude. Men feel ill at ease when they are with
women who don’t allow a room in their lives for
a man to fill. Such women find it difficult to
express love. They always believe a man wants
to dominate them. They are usually too defensive,
too competitive, and too contentious.
Men who
relate with them usually feel frustrated. Such men
always choose their words and actions carefully
to avoid quarrels. That smothers affection and
joy.
Men who are looking for housemaids, not wives
These are men who still live in the 15th century
in this modern age. They have an archaic idea of
what the role of wives is. They believe that
women are only meant to cook, clean the house,
bear children, and serve the men.
They believe that when men talk, women just
have to obey; when men talk, women must keep
quiet. The man can keep mistresses, but the
woman should keep quiet and not even be seen
greeting a man. A woman should not work,
should not step out of the house, and should not
complain, whatever the man doles out to her.
Those who can never trust anybody
These are those who believe that everybody is an
enemy. Everybody is filled with evil designs
against them. They have an obsession with fear
of people, including their spouse, that it is
irritating. Once a spouse cannot be trusted, there
can never be joy in the family. They see through
every action. They believe that everybody has
evil intentions.
.
Those who have no respect for others
People can mouth love, but without respect, a
marriage can never be happy. Women who love
to prove a point by insulting their husbands, or
men who believe in treating their wives without
dignity in the name of cutting their wives to size:
such people make terrible marriage partners.
Nothing kills marriages like disrespect.
Women who see all men as competition that
must not be given an inch
Marriage is not a place for activism. A woman
who sees a man as a competitor rather than a
complement is a dangerous person to marry.
When a man has to contend with a woman every
minute, when a man is always too conscious of
what to say or do to his wife, then there is a
problem at home.
Those who can’t control their temper
Hot-tempered people are dangerous. They can
utter anything in anger. They can do things that
they will regret for life. They can be violent. Their
words can be venomous. They can put you in
trouble. They are unpredictable.
Those who cannot forgive
Forgiveness makes us look superhuman. But
there are those who cannot forgive, no matter the
circumstances. Not only can they not forgive,
they can also not forget. Because they can’t
forgive, they usually think of how to get revenge.
Those who have not been weaned by their
parents
Age has little to do with maturity in marriage.
Those who have not been “weaned” by their
parents make poor marriage partners. They are
full of “Mummy said”, “Daddy said”. They take
every family discussion to their parents. They
cannot do anything unless their parents approve.
They allow their parents to run their homes in the
name of showing respect.
Those who are tied to the apron strings of their
parents make marriage tasteless. Such spouses
are a constant source of frustration and sadness.
You will always be wrong in their sight. You will
always be vilified.
In summary, marriage is not a bed of roses.
There is nobody without some faults or
idiosyncrasies. But it is foolhardy to walk into a
landmine with one’s eyes open, praying and
hoping that the explosive would not go off.
To avoid heartaches, neither blind love nor
desperation to get married should push a
bachelor or spinster to jump into a marriage with
someone who will cause nothing but pain,
sadness, and sorrow. Marriage should not be
treated as a game of Russian roulette.
Twitter @BrandAzuka
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